You're jokes
Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.
You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.
What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.
How do you know when you're near Wacko Jacko's grave? When 'Thriller' is out and about.
What's a saying you shouldn't tell an epileptic?
Seize your moment.
Your hairline parts faster than Moses parting the Red Sea.
Nah, did your barber catch a seizure while lining you up?
Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.
What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?
A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.
There's a new Viagra and prune juice diet that's out.
Unfortunately, you can't tell if you're coming or going.
You're so skinny that a Wi-Fi signal is stronger.
Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.
Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.
A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.
I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.
Your forehead is so big, explorers mistakenly thought it was Mount Everest.
Your forehead is so big, they used it for the Berlin Wall and the USA border.
Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.
Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.
Your hairline is receding so hard, they petitioned it to change for the McDonald's logo.
What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.
“If you're a dwarf and you're offended by that, grow up.”