You're jokes

Your mum is so cool, she looks like a fridge. Quote: Jude Porters.

Your mum is like a Golden Knight. She will still attack my tower with troops in the way, like Jude Porter.

Your mama is so fat that when she jumped, they found water on Mars.

Your momma so slutty, she got banned from Heavy-R.

Halloween. The day we celebrate your face.

My mother didn't want me to love my sister. That made me angry. But then, one day I found this quote: "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Since that day, I fuck my sister hard and my MOM harder!

If you have a friend that will not leave you alone about something, just simply tell them: "If you watch something, have you ever thought that you're in a movie when you watch a movie?"

A burglar breaks into the home of a weapons engineer. He wants to steal some of his weapons from his strictly secured chamber. When he breaks in through the window to go into his weapons cellar, he realizes that the inventor is at home and heard him from upstairs.

The burglar shouts, "Hands up, there is no escape!" The engineer shouts, "What do you want from me?" The thief answers impatiently, "Well, what do you think? I know what you're hiding here. Get me entry to your armory, right away!" "Never in my life will I do that!" The burglar pulls out his pistol, "Either you let me in, or you go for it!"

"Well, I'll give up, I'll give you my guns. Please don't shoot me." The burglar grins gleefully, "Thank you." "I even have a gun here that I've been working on lately. You can have it." The burglar then thinks and grunts, "Okay, before you open up, you'll show me this first!"

The inventor says, "It's shooting plasma. You can test it on one of my practice goals that I've made while I'm unlocking," and points to a side room where various dummies with targets are set up. The burglar walks into the room with the targets, focuses on the red dot in the middle of the disc, and pushes off. But the gun does not fire plasma or at the target. Instead, the gun fires a bullet at the burglar. This causes him to bleed to the ground.

The engineer behind him began to laugh, "Hahaha! I knew you were falling for it! This is not a plasma gun at all; this is my latest invention, especially for burglars like you: the backward-shooting pistol."

Your hairline looks like something that came off the bottom of a Reese's cup.

Your mama can't walk up the stairs because she eats too much chips.

Your hairline is so far back, even the Flintstones knew of it.

Your mum is a Rune Giant.

Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.

You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.

What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.

How do you know when you're near Wacko Jacko's grave? When 'Thriller' is out and about.

What's a saying you shouldn't tell an epileptic?

Seize your moment.

Your hairline parts faster than Moses parting the Red Sea.

Nah, did your barber catch a seizure while lining you up?

Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.