You jokes
What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.
He shouts “you stupid cunt!”
The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”
Dodi replies...:
“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”
Dad: I'm giving all your toys to the orphan kid.
Kid: Why, Dad?
Dad: So you don't get bored.
You're so ugly that when your mama had you, she tried to give you away, but there was nowhere to give you.
Your mama's so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, you can see Micah.
What do you get when you goblin with a shark?
Your forehead so big you got to take Tylenol pills, big like chocolate chip cookies.
My sister thinks she's sooooo smart. She said that the only food that makes you cry is onions, therefore I threw a coconut at her.
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop!
Five little monkeys jumping on a bed.
One fell off and bumped his head. Mamma called Walmart, and Walmart said,
"We will give you a replacement!"
Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.
You: Well, your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you don't even know how to do that.
And your IQ is 5.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty, WHAT THE FRICK HAPPENED TO YOU?
Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.
If you were to ask me, "What is the easiest job in the world?", it would be an Australian psychiatrist.
"G'Day, G'Day...how you doing...no worries, next!"
Person: Bro, you have a bad and stupid life.
Me: Yeah, it was all good till you were here!
Person: WTF!
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.