You jokes
How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.
You were supposed to be born in the tree.
The sticks were your siblings.
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.
People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.
Memes
My sister: You were born ugly.
Me: I'm not a mirror, sis.
How do you call a sad coffee? A depresso!
What's the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression f**ks you harder.
What do you call a llama that was in 9/11? Osama Bin Llama.
The only difference between you and Jesus is that Jesus believed in himself.
Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3
(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!
What do you call an orphan who became a priest?
Father-less.
How do you know when it's bedtime in the Netherlands?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
Why can't you play memory snap in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
GF: What do you think of our love?
BF: Count the stars in the sky.
GF: Aww... It's infinity!
BF: Nope. It's just a waste of time.
What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?
Geico saves you more.
What do you call a Chinese boy throwing poo?
Yung Flung Dung.
Why would Tommy kill Philza's wife just to make Phil believe she didn't exist?
LIKE AND SUB IF YOU LI/j
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?