You jokes

What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.

I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)

Q: What's the difference between a prison and a concentration camp?

A: At least you don't die when you shower.

Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.

My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Make them clap until their parents come back.

Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.

Son: Okay, I'll do it!

5 hours later...

Son: I'm done!

Dad: I lied.

Son: So did I!

Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."

The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.

And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"

Girl, you are so ugly that when you look in the mirror, it shatters, more than your relationship.

What part of a vegetable can't you eat? The wheelchair.

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.

Why? You ask.

Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.

You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"

What happens if you inhale too much nitrous oxide (laughing gas)?

You die of laughter.

How do you get a depressed person to jump?

Put them on a bridge.

What do you call a united cow? A united steaks! 🤣🤣🤣

What do you call it when an orphan goes to Panera Bread?

"Panera, my parents are dead."

What do you call it when Panera Bread is a book?

Panera Read.

You: Bro, this school picture is soooo ugly!! (Points to yours).

Me: Bruh, you just typed up mirror!

Q: What do you use on your tuba when it breaks?

A: Tuba-glue.

Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"

The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"

BOINGZINGA!?!