You jokes
What do you call a nervous Jedi?
Panakin.
You're so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet!
Q: How many dead babies does it take to paint the wall?
A: Depends how hard you throw them.
Whenever you wanna roast an orphan, say "yo mamma".
What do you call a male cow who’s taking a nap?
A bull dozer.
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?
At least you don’t die when you shower.
One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"
Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).
You could be sitting alone and still be the dumbest person in the room.
Your mum, your dad, The things you never had.
What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?
A seizure salad.
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
How do you lift a depressed person up?
No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
What do you call a rapper who works at the BANK?
Lil Teller.
If you thought an inner-city black boy cannot transform into a deranged pale Karen... well, just look at Michael Jackson.
What do you call a Chinese baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
Roses are red, I wish you were dead.
How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.
Woman aren't human anyways... lol.