You jokes
What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?
RoboCop.
Roast
You have such a big forehead it has a 6 pack on it!
Why don't you act like an amoeba and split?
I've patched 1,000 roofs, and they don't call you Boris the roof patcher. I've built 100,000 swords and shields, and they don't call you Boris the blacksmith, but you fuck one goat!
Why are people disappointments? Because you are reading this.
You're so short that you use a ladder to reach a dime.
What do you call emo kids that are depressed... suicide squad?
Roses are red, my blood is too, And I've been seeing it a lot more, since I've lost you.
I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"
Timmy: Stupid motherfucker.
Jimmy: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Timmy: *starts crying*
Jimmy: Ah fuck, I did it again.
How many babies does it take to paint a barn red? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.
What do you call the woman that fucked sooooooo many hunks to have the condom break and a failure to be born? Ur Mum.
What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?
Geico saves you more.
A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...
I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"
My mom said you failed school. I said, "Don't be surprised, I'm a retard, Mom."
What do you call a pig that goes to the slaughterhouse? Technoblade.
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"
I bet you eat your cereal with water because your dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a dick that's too small to see?
Tick-tack dick.