You jokes
What do you do when an orphan gets you mad?
A stab to the neck and a bullet to the face.
If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?
"Ghost Musterd."
If your hot dog taste like a piece of wood, who you gonna call?
GHOST MUSTERD
You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.
Teacher: Ok kids, time to go home.
The orphan: What is home?
Teacher: Here, I have somewhere for you.
*puts in trash can*
What do you call a dev that is dead?
A deadveloper.
What do you call a too round egg?
A prEGGnant egg.
Did you hear about the nurse who couldn’t swim?
She ended up under the doc[tor].
Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”
Soldier says, “Mhm.”
Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”
Soldier says, “Really?”
The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"
What would you call a gay man's couch? A Homo Sectional.
What do you call a cow that is secret?
AnonyMOOus.
Rob, you forgot to pay me for letting you sucky sucky on my thang.
AKA you're for sale.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What do you call a cow you can’t see?
Camooflauged.
Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?
A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.
What's one thing that you can say about a train, but not your girlfriend?
Kim Jong Il: Knock knock.
Political Prisoner: Who's there?
Kim Jong Il: Boo.
Political Prisoner: Boo who?
Kim Jong Il: Boo hoo? Don't cry just because I executed your wife and enslaved your children. You at least get to eat today, my friend.
What do you call Liberal Scare Tactics?
A Conservative's Utopia.
Q: What do you call an angry, bullied Asian kid?
Shoo Ting.
I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)