You are so hairy, Bigfoot took your picture!
What do you call a flat cabbage?
A leaf pile.
Did you hear that nursing homes keep returning the new Paul Walkers?
They let the elderly move fast, but then burst into flames and burn the patients alive.
OMG, you will give me Discord Nitro and Robux?? Sike, I lied!
Your hairline is so far back you ain't got a fo'head, you got a five head!
What do you call a once that's an insect?
A creepy crawly.
Son, why do I not have an Easter basket?
Mom, you're 23, you don't need one. Ends calls, child support.
My dick wants to buy you a beer. 🍺
You: I want my mama.
Me: Soz, you can't even get one.
What do you call a binder with no rings?
Damn, you look out of this world because you got a big head like an alien.
"Ur Grandma" You think you're funny? Well, sorry, but you're not.
(True story)
One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."
I bet when you were born, the doctor looked away because of your virginity.
Computers are females because when they're down, you always charge her.
When you are in the legendary chest in Fortnite and no golden scar rage.
You wanna hear a good joke, kiddos?
Gods being real. (Newsflash, all gods are manmade. THEY'RE ALL FICTION!)
Your mom was born in a dumpster, as well as you.
Miss Kadie, I heard that the Westboro Baptist Church is having a party for kicking out 99999 gay people.
Pastor: Welcome to the gay matters church.
Miss Kadie: Stop that, you know that God hates gay people.
Me: Stop that, vegan teacher.
Pastor: You deserve to die.
- I attack
John walked into Pat at the barn. He was dancing naked in front of a tractor. John said, "Hey, Pat, what are you doing?"
Pat said, "Well, me and the wife have been having a bit of trouble in bed, so I went to a therapist, and he said I should do something sexy to a tractor (attract her)."
