You jokes
What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home and walk walk home to get a car? I love you, you're the night!
I love you, my new phone! 📲
What do you call Stephen Hawking going fast?
Hot Wheels.
I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."
I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."
He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."
Wow, paint can, you have such a colorful personality!
Mr. Nobody: Water you thinkin's happenin', Ol' Mr. Atlantic?
Mr. Atlantic: Something Smells Fishy...
Mr. Nobody: Well, duh, you idiot! You're an Ocean!
Mr. Atlantic: WTH!?!?????
What do you call a bull sleeping?
A bull-dozer.
What name do you get if you mix the names Chris and Marisa?
Then you get the name Chrisa.
What time is it when you say "bad day?"
When someone falls, you say to them, "I remember when I started to learn to walk."
So, three guys are walking carefully into a bar.
The bartender said, "What can I get you, gentlemen?"
Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?
He got 12 months.
Worst joke ever.
What do you call an animal that smells?
A smelly-phant.
That joke is really not funny.
Do you want to hear a paper joke?
Never mind, it's tear-able!
What do you get when skeletons are dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
You gay.
What do you call an alligator with a magnifying glass?
An Investigator.
When you start sweating after filling in "C" for the third time in a row.
My friend: Yo stupid.
Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?
My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*
Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.
What did one canyon say to the other?
You stay here, I'm gonna rise up on ahead.