You jokes
I went fishing while watching porn, and my girlfriend said, "Well, you want my fish?" and I said, "But you're not in the water."
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Orphan Friend: Sure.
Friend: Parents.
Other: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
I was doing a 10km run with my good friend Pessi. As we were setting up our smart watches, the watch voice asked us if we wanted to do a solo run or a group run.
Pessi proceeded to smash both our watches and shout, “I don’t want solo run, I want Penalty!”
Shame on you, Pessi!
You are a fat pig.
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A self-portrait.
Memes
Did you hear about the famous pickle?
He was a big dill!
What do you call a bottle of water flying over Africa?
A UFO.
How do you know an abo robbed your house?
The bins (trash cans) are empty and the dog is pregnant.
You are so fat you were able to occupy Wall Street all by yourself.
You are so ugly, when you went to a haunted house, you came back with a job application.
You are so ugly when you gave birth to your baby, you gave it carpet burn.
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you got to hand it to her.
What happens if you put your hand in glue? Your hand will stay there forever! I'm joking, hahaha!
You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldn’t find you.
What do you call when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
What do you get when you cross between Tailga and emo?
Tailighmo.
You tell your dad what one plus one is and he says five. You forgot that your dad's brain is on the floor.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Anything you want; it won't chase you.
You're so weak, someone breathed on you and you flew away!
So, there was this kid, and he went to a store and said to a person there, "I'm emo." Then the person told the emo, "Why the hell are you here? Shouldn't you be hanging in a tree somewhere?"