You jokes
Do I do the same for dinner tomorrow morning for you?
How do you know when German people break into your house? When you can not find your bed.
Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late?
His wife gave him the cold shoulder.
Why do you go to the bank?
To get money.
When do you run from the bank?
When the cops come.
What is the difference between a dog and a cat?
I don't know either.
Why do you think I asked you? ;)
What do you call a baby that came out of their mother's womb? A virgin.
What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef jerky.
What do you call an opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
What do you call a pineapple? P.P.A.P. LOLLLLOLOLOLLOL9LOOLKOK.
Me: "You wanna see my dad?"
Some kid: "Yeah?"
Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."
Some kid: "He ain't appearing."
Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."
*The kid laughs*
Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃
A few male neighbors came over to the house to take a shower because, for some reason, their house didn't have water.
A few minutes later, I walk into the shower. I see the male neighbors and Mom taking a shower together. Then I said, "What are you doing?" They all say, "We're taking a shower together so we could save water."
I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks.
"This is God's clock. It never moved because he never lied."
"This is your clock. It moved 3 times because you lied 3 times."
I asked where is President Trump's clock. He said it was at the equator, spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true!
Gwen, don't worry, everyone hates you, by the way! Have anything to say? Then who cares? You can't stop me.
Unknown person is going to give you a hint of who hates you...we were in a club, a meeting...btw this is you!
[Image of Gwen]
Later, Bitch!!!!!!!!
Hi guys, I'm going to be out for 3 days. Also, quote for the day and advice.
Quote. (Made by me) Don't look back at tomorrow; just look forward today. There are new thoughts, strength, and ideas.
Advice. Sometimes ppl have opinions, and those opinions are probably what you don't like, but don't bring negativity on them just because of what they're saying. If you chose, you probably say, "I don't understand that statement, but it does sound good." This is not a drama site; it's a joking site.
P.S. No hating in these comments.
Bick: Jesus isn't real.
Ron: Yes, He is.
Bick: Prove it, bitch.
Ron: Cussing is a sin. Open the curtains.
Bick: Wh-?
Ron: JUST DO IT, DAMMIT!
The sunlight shone through the window, landing on Ron and Bick. Both of them died and went to hell.
Ron: Fuck you, Jesus.
Bick: Told you Jesus was real.
Satan: Get to work, slaves.
Moral of the story: Stay off the marijuana.
What is the difference between shroud and a shroud imposter?
Shroud uses reddit, and the imposter uses WJE.
Reddit king and q, I really dgaf what you say, you guys are practically obsessed with me cuz ur leaving hate comments on almost all my jokes, so stop. You're obviously gonna look bad if you just insult meh jokes.
If you guys dont like my jokes, you can just dislike and not leave a comment, ok?
A little boy went to church. The priest said, "Get in the following positions: stand, then kneel, then bow." The little boy replies, "Can you hurry up and f**k me already?"
Why does Adam buy airsoft guns, you might ask?
To defend himself against his own father... his life must be shit.
What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto! 😂
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.