You jokes
What do you call cheese that is not your cheese?
Nacho cheese.
How do you starve a hippie? You hide its welfare check under the soap.
What do you say when a handicapped man forgets something? "He knew it like the back of his hand."
What do you call a kid who sings well?
Melodic Minor.
What do you call seagulls that fly over the bay? Bagels.
Memes
Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?
Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.
You know, people always tell you to stand up for yourself. Why didn't anyone tell the World Trade Center that? 🤔
Do you know Joe?
Joe who?
Joe *boom*.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?
A: Cowacat
B: Mooore
C: Cowacatfood
Q: What do you call a zombie with no mouth?
A: Useless.
What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
Your hairline pushed back lookin' like you got slapped up by Will Smith.
What do you call a dark, average height Punjabi male?
Josiah.
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
Why couldn't your mom make you dinner? Because she's dead!
Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."
Making a comforting breakfast.
But you have a knife.
Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?
No, I'm already looking at one.