You jokes
When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?
How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?
Shut off his computer.
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?
My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”
Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
You're so clapped that you make Susan Boyle attractive.
What do you call an orphan's family portrait?
A selfie.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?
A: Cowacat
B: Mooore
C: Cowacatfood
Life is never hard until you get hit hard with reality.
Yo hairline so far, that if you put tables on it, it would NEVER end.
I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
Why you should never borrow money from dwarves?
Because they are always short! 😁😁😁😁
Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?
Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.
You know, people always tell you to stand up for yourself. Why didn't anyone tell the World Trade Center that? 🤔
Do you know Joe?
Joe who?
Joe *boom*.
I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
Why couldn't your mom make you dinner? Because she's dead!
Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."