What do you call a pig that does Karate?
You Jokes
How do you get into Hogwarts? Through the Dumble Door.
So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.
If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.
Repeat after me...
Me: "You have a weird style."
Mom: "You have a weird style."
Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*
How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.
I make elevating music; you make elevator music.
300? You are a 3.0.
I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!
You are like Papa.
Friends don't lie.
Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."
Two lepers meet on the street.
First says "How are you doing?"
Second says "Mustn't crumble!"
What do you call a cow with no legs?
If at first you can't succeed, then wait to be the last!
What do you call a favorite joke that isn’t your favorite?
None fave. Foch heads.
Guys, say "A wrecked isle dysfunction" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.
Guy: Are you gay? I'm orphan.
A guy walks up to a girl. He says, "Hey, you want a poker? I’ve got one."
Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."
What do you call my brother in the water?
"Tsunami."