You jokes

Heart

What's black and white and red all over?

The darkness of your heart, the dishonor of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.

Dad

Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.

Nun

What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?

"Nunya business!"

Memes

Mama

Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed three episodes of your favorite show.

Food

"You can drink drinks, but you can't food foods."

-Sun Tzu, The Art Of Food

Fat

You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.

Internet

@M3GAN fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfucufkcucufkcuckfucufkcufcfufkcufkcuckfucufkf you

Gas Station

A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."

The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"

The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."

Wheelchair

Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?

Because they have to pay for road tax.

Mama

Your mama is so stupid.

Your dad said, "You're driving me crazy," so your mom handed him the keys and said, "You can drive."

Record

"Do you want to hear a joke?"

"Yes."

"Okay, record yourself and then listen to it!"

Kobe

Kobe is a legend and is nothing to joke about. Wait till you crash and burn!

Backpack

You was reaching into you’re backpack and the whole class jumped through the window.