You jokes

Roast

Call me fat? You call me fat because you think that you’re pretty, but you ain’t. You’re just a musty, dusty, rusty Cardi B.

Hairline

TJ's hairline so far back you still couldn't find it when the Devil was alive.

Username

You only put your user name under Daddyboy_01 because your dad left you, hahahah!

Memes

Pair

If you have a pair and it runs around the street, what do you call it? A running pair.

Seal

What did the seal say to the shark?

"Are you seal-iously going to eat me?"

Guy

A big guy told the small guy, "Do you want a little pill because you look ill, or should I smash you?"

Pain

What is the difference between a Walking Dead and you? He doesn't feel pain.

Body

When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?

Grandpa

I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

Bread

What do you call it when you are very sad in Panera Bread?

Panera Dread.

Politician

You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

Cow

You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.

Cheetah

Why can't you do a Math test in the zoo?

Because there are too many Cheetahs!