You jokes

Do you know when an African doesn't feel hungry?

When he is dead.

What do you call an Irish person having a seizure? A Shamrock Shake.

- What do you call a dog that can do magic?

- A labracadabrador.

What do you call a rapper who's also a GARDENER?

Snoop Soddy Sod.

What do you call a rapper who’s also a DOCTOR?

MC Healer.

You like kissing boys, don't you?

What do you call a rapper who LOVES to garden?

Lil Plant

What do you call a rapper who LOVES to fish?

MC Hammerhead.

What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?

Eminem-o the Great.

I thought of you today, and it reminded me to take out the trash.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.

Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?

Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.

Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!

Stacy: lol

Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?

To the I.C.U.

A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”

“Pop,” goes the weasel.

A king ordered to execute a gay man.

The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."

Confusion life question!!!

* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

You realize we are tolerating you, right?

My bad, but you stink so bad you passed by a trashcan and it yelled, "Wow! I didn't know I had family!"

So big that when you step, you break the whole galaxy.

What do you say when Jack's late to sex ed?

"Aye-jack-you-late!"