You jokes
You fighting? More like you're dying!
Little off topic but...
Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.
Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.
Mum: Fair point.
Did you hear that the cameraman got arrested? He shot a film.
A snake walks into the bar... the bartender says, "How the heck did you do that?"
I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.
Memes
You look easy to draw.
What do you call a guy that lies a lot?
The president.
What do you call 3 orphan girls in a tornado?
All of her twist.
You're so bad at games, bro, they gave you AIDS before losing! 😹
Why is 19 afraid?
Because if you add 400 to it, it’ll be next to 420.
What do you call a Panera Bread you write with?
Panera lead.
When you're in the World Trade Center and you connect to airplane wifi.
When you're in the World Trade Center and you connect to airplane wifi.
What do you get when you mix a cow with an earthquake??
Milkshake.
The first time you have to do a full body workout in chess.
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy.
Why isn't there a sad sunglasses emoji? To show that I am happy but I'm still cool.
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
What do you call an orphan when they eat a meal? A family dinner.
When you have erectile dysfunction, it could be expressed as the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?
A "retiree."