You jokes

Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.

What do you call a cow that has been shot?

Holy cow!

When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:

"Enjoy the little things."

You're like a vacuum cleaner. Why? Because you suck.

What do you call a dog that fell into the Porta-Potty?

A Corgi Potty.

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator ;)

What do you call a Krispy Kreme Donut combined with a Big Mac from McDonalds?

A Krispy Kreme Mac.

That's what you do. And the ahteot09oe.

What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?

Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.

I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.

This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?

Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!

What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.

Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...

What do you call a cow that sleeps?

A bulldozer! 🐄💤

Have you ever been to the ocean? Well, the smokers out there probably only seaweed!

"Knock, knock?"

"Who's there?"

"Cow said."

"Cow said who?"

"Cow says moo you ding dong!"

What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?

(Insulin)

When the washer started running, why did you join me?

Because I had to catch it.

What do you call a pig in the mud?

A Ky hot brown.

What time is it when you get home and you walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school? Oooooo day, a great night for

What did the mom say to her house? "I love you"