You jokes
Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"
She pulls out a knife and fork.
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.
Did you?
Why don't you see any more fat Chinese men?
Because the last Chinese man was in WW2.
Do you know why Jesus is so popular with the ladies??
Haven't you ever seen pictures of the guy? He was hung like this... 🤚--------🤪----------✋
Why don't you wanna taco 'bout it? Cause it's nacho problem!
What do you call sex in the World Trade Center?
An inside job.
My sister thinks she's so smart, she said onions are the only food that makes you cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
Welcome to David's Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em!
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."
For all of my musicians out there!
If you ever had your nipple ripped off by a possum, you might be a redneck...
When you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove, but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.
Stick your head up someone's butt. What do you get? A Butthead!
"Get your butt out of my face!"
"Then get your face out of my butt!!!"
What do you call a Jedi teacher who lives in a forest?
Obi-Wan Canopy
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind?
The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Please.
Please who?
Police, can you stop talking so we can get to the end of the joke.
Lol.
Addicted, what did the drug dealer say to the dopewhore?
"Damn whore, you're not that addicted when you spread your legs open for any man. No wonder weed is more addicted than yo ass." Lol
Why can't you ever fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday!
You know why orphans like boomerangs?
Because they come back, unlike their parents.