You Jokes

Google

Is Google a girl or a boy?

Obviously a girl, because it won't let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.

Bone

"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."

Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?

Meat

What's the difference between meat and fish?

If you beat your fish, it'll die.

Wife

What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?

Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.

Sex

Why do people have sex?

Because they like going "Ahhhhhhhhhhh fuck me, bitch, I love you!"

Mom

What do you think of your mom? I have to go now and tyyyytt.

Woman

What do you call that useless piece of skin that goes all the way around a pussy?

A woman!

Dick

My best friend said, "Can you put your dick in me?" I said, "Can I cum in you?"

Mountain

Why are mountains 🏔 so funny? Because they’re hill areas, do you get it? They are hill areas, like a mountain is a hill area. It sounds like hilarious, so you get it.

Glory Hole

What do you call a night guard at the glory hole inside a adult bookstore?

Guardian of the confessional booth.

Orphan

I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

Parkinson

What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?

Parallel Parkinson's.