You jokes
There were 25 cows, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
(Ten, if you count in base 13!)
God- make a grumpy old man president.
Angel- why?
G- cause I said so-name him Trump.
A- okay.
G- make him not pay taxes.
A- okay...
Fast forward to 2020
G- you know that grumpy old man?
A- yea...
G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.
A- Krona.
G- exactly.
A- why do you hate humans so much?
G- because I can.
Orange you glad to see me?
Did you hear that Michael Jackson changed his name from Michael Smith? Well, at least he's honest.
What happens to a baby when you let it run loose? It can't cause it can't run yet.
You get a deep voice, you shit talk to 5 year olds.
What would you call a gay man's couch? A Homo Sectional.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?
A: Fall.
If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.
What do you call a peanut on the allergy table?
A kill streak.
God: Why is the teenager so short?
Angel: I don't know.
God: I said, "Strong as a bear!"
Angel: No, you said, "Ass hair."
God: No, I didn't!
Hi, this is Chloe, and I am about to tell you about my joke.
Why did the cow cross the road? Because to get to the other side.
Your forehead is so big it gets home before you do.
What do you call it when a town on the south coast of England sprouts legs and starts walking around the country?
A walkie-Torquay.
What do you expect when you get out of a bar?
Your mom naked LOLOLOLOL.
Why are all these pathetic jokes about school shootings?😒 You all are so fucking pathetic... Humanity is officially gone, stupid bitches...
I always press the stop button to see you.
Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.
What did one cheese say to the other cheese?
"Hello, it's a nice day, do you have any plans on what you're going to do?"... The other cheese was taken back by his politeness and friendliness, they agreed to meet again, and were soon married and lived happily ever after. Let this tale of the two cheeses inspire you to be a better person.