You jokes
My sister said I'm stupid and I'm a baby, and I said, "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about you."
What animal can't you trust with your homework?
A: A cheetah!
My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.
This is NOT my joke. I found it on Google. It's a texting joke.
Mom: Son, your grandma just passed away LOL.
Son: Mom, what do you mean LOL? That means laughing out loud.
Mom: Oh no, I thought that meant lots of love. I have to text everyone back!!!!
Knock knock.
Who's there? Discord server.
Discord server who?
This server is dead, bye bitches, I got better things to do than watch you sit here and type like a sloth.
You know I want an ADHD cure.
When?
Squirrel!
What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?
Fresh roadkill.
What did the mustard say to the ketchup? "Quit running so fast, let me ketchup to you."
Apple
Apple
Apple
Apple
Apple
Orange you glad I didn't say apple again?
What do you call a cow's facial hair?
A moostache.
Why did the cake say to the scammer? "I'll scam you up!"
This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.
(Do you get the joke?)
(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)
When someone says you're an orphan, say, "At least I was wanted, unlike you!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought of the zoo and monkeys too!
A vampire stalks you into a field of corn. The stakes have never been higher...
I wanna date you.
Said mom, dad said no, you are a horrid, f*cking d*ck.
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?
"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she. Did you see that one coming? Neither did she.
(She's blind and deaf)