You jokes
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
What happens to grapes when you step on them? They wine.
-->[] go through the door if you can.
Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."
Friends: comments give reason.
Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."
Day later:
Mom: Let me see your TikTok.
Me: Shows her the video.
Mom: calls suicide.
JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Can you walk the dog for me?
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Act like a nut.
(Psst! Heard this joke before? Sorry! That's the only nut-and-squirrel joke I know.)
What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?
Dam fools.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
A suicide squad.
Orange: Hey Apple, Apple, hey Apple.
Apple: What?
Orange: Orange you glad I didn't say "Apple" again? Hahaha!
Spongebob: Easy now, you try first. Get a jar.
Patrick: *picks up nuke*
Spongebob: Patrick, that's a nuke!
Patrick: Yes.
Nuke: *boom*
Kid: I want to be like Batman.
Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.
Genie: I told you.
Kid: .............................................
Kalyn: Mrs. Frizzle,
Mrs. Frizzle: Sure.
Kalyn: Can you spell I-C-U-P for me?
Mrs. Frizzle: Shut up, you little fucktard!
Teacher: What does a cow say?
Susie: Moo.
Teacher: Good. Now what does a duck say?
Jimmy: The duck goes quack.
Teacher: Now what does a pig say?
Little Jonny: A pig says, "Get up against the wall, you black motherfucker!"
A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said, "You are what we are looking for, but I need to test your skills." He hands her a pen. He said, "Sell me this pen." She puts it between her boobs.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there? Control Freak. Con... OK, now you say, “Control Freak who?”
What is the best type of girl to fuck?
Homeless girls, because after, you can drop them off anywhere.
"Hey, you! Why are you so serious?"
How do you fit a baby in a glass?
A blender.
How do you get it out?
Explosives!
What do you call one baby in ten trashcans?
Chopped Junior!
What do you call a lost Indian woman? Ms. Singh.