You jokes
You’re so fine that my zipper is falling for you.
My two friends came to me one day and said they had the best blowjob that they ever had from my little sister. So I ask my sister, "Is it true that you gave my friends blowjobs?" She said yes.
My sister asked me, "Do you want one?" I said yeah. My sister gave me a blowjob and wow, just like my friends, it was the best blowjob that I ever had. As an older brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
How do you make a snooker table laugh? Tickle its balls!
What do you call a banana that can dance?
CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS [sic]
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.
What do you call a midget stripper?
A pocket pussy.
Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.
Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.
Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of seamen waiting for you 😉
Are you a raisin? Because you’re raisin' my dick.
Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you! 😫
You look good with anything, but nothing works too.
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.
The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"
The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."
The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"
The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."
At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."
The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."
What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?
A doppelgangbang.
Do you think when the Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like, "Donald Duck"?
An ugly, poor teenage girl found a genie lamp in her backyard. The genie said, "I will grant you 3 wishes, but under 1 condition."
"What is it?" she asked.
"After I grant your final wish, you have to have sex with me," the genie replied.
"Okay, for my 1st wish, I wish to be the prettiest girl at my school," the genie snapped his fingers and made her pretty.
"For my 2nd wish, I wish for my family to be rich," the genie snapped his fingers and told her her family is now the richest in town.
"And your final wish?" the genie asked.
"I wish I had a sabertoothed vagina."
What do you call a Lesbian at a Barbecue? A LGBBQ.