What do you call a Chinese assassin?
Chinese takeout.
You Jokes
What do you call a fart in a gay bar?
A mating call.
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.
I’m not calling you a slut, I’m calling you a penny.
Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone’s pants!
You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.
Yo mama so clumsy, she gave birth to you.
How do you know if a rapper's broke?
When he starts dropping cents instead of bars.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to fish?
MC Hammerhead.
What did the grape say to the rapper?
"You're so VINE, you must be on the JUICE!"
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to garden?
Lil Plant
What did the rapper say to his shoes?
"You better lace up!"
If you think Tracy Latimer's murder was in any way justified, put on your helmet 'cause you're about to miss the short bus.
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
What’s something you can say in bed and in a Zoom meeting?
"Do you want the cameras on or off?"
Did you know Disney is making a movie for suicidal people?
They're calling it Finding Emo.
"What do you want to eat?"
"You choose."
"Children."
"What?"
*Picks up pot*
"You said anything!"
A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"
She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."
Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"
Sorry to hear you feel like poo!
You like kissing boys, don't you?
