You jokes

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell 'em to clap until their parents come home.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Make it clap until its parents come home.

1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?

- A bus full of children.

2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

- He died of a yeast infection.

3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...

- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”

4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...

- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...

- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

To all of you making jokes about orphans, it’s all fun and games until both of your parents leave you.

LMFAO (my parents left me and it’s not the funniest thing ever)

Dude: Hey dude guess who I am?

Viewers: Dora.

Trump: No, I am President Trump.

Viewers: Why are you wearing Dora’s clothes and backpack?

Trump: Today we are going to build a wall.

Viewers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.

One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.

Teacher: "If you don't understand, ask your parents at home."

Orphan: "I don't have neither of those :c"

What do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food?

The worst shits you'll ever see!

So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.

Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)

Frank: Yo

Fred: Hi...

Frank: U heard about de competition?

Fred: Yeah...

Frank: You wanna hang out?

Fred: .......

Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.

Fred: ...I(

Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.

Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.

Uma Thurman in "Pulp Fiction" was very kind and possibly the sweetest character, unless you count her forehead as of now.

Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.

Me.

You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.