How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home!
You Jokes
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
What's the difference between a pregnant one and a light bulb?
One you can unscrew.
My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.
I told them, "Just you wait!"
What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
What do you call nuts on a chin?
My penis in your mouth.
What do you call it when two Mexicans fight?
Juan on Juan.
How do you know if a black lady’s pregnant?
You put a banana up her vagina and see if any little monkeys come and get it.
How do you start a fight in space?
"Comet me, bro."
What do you call a person with a fat brain?
A fat neek!
What do you say after making fun of a disabled person?
"Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes."
Are you a Pikachu?
Because you are SHOCKINGLY beautiful!
Pokemon
You must be a Charmander. Because you’re making me hot.
Pokemon.
A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."
Hi, I'm Depraashin.
Hi, I'm rope. May I hang with you guys?
How do you spell "cognitive mess?"
J.O.E. B.I.D.E.N.
Q: What do a blond girl and a tornado have in common? A: There's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house.
1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?
2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.
3. My foot lasts longer than your life.
Bee Jokes:
"Hello."
"Oh, hello, Buzzy!"
"Why are ya calling me Buzzy this whole time?"
"Because you BEE BUZZing!" (Laughs)
"It's not funny! Jokes are the worst, although I hate those Bee Jokes!"
"Chillax bro. Don't BEE a hater of jokes, dude!" (Laughs)
"Aagh! You always had a choice, but I will sting ya face!"
"No! You BEE like pollen to make HONEY-moon." (Laughs)
"Stoooop!! I'm outta here, your worst fan."
"Fan?"
"Yes, your worst fan!"
"No! Fan!"
"What?! Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!!"
"Ohhh! Buzzy's looking BEE-wind!" (Laughs)
What do you call a cat that walks slowly?
CATerpillar
