You jokes
Did you hear about the magician who did magic with chocolate?
I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.
I would roast you, but I'm not supposed to burn trash.
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.
One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”
Sex is like show and tell: you show your pussy and dick, and then you tell each other how you feel.
POV: You walk up to your short friend and say, "How is the weather down there?"
Are you suicide? Because you are always on my mind.
Q: What do you call 6 gay men in the army?
A: Rainbow Six Siege.
"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."
Me:.....
How do you know when Kobe Bryant is famous?
His face was chiseled in a mountain.
Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.
When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"
When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)
My best opinion: when life goes to hell, you just go down with it.
When you're at school and you have to wipe your ass, but it's only one ply...
Your finger breaks through... mmm, finger lickin' good.
Rape: The only crime where you have to tell the victim they couldn't do anything even if they could run or say something, then after, are told rapists stop them doing something about it.
Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- He robbed children of their innocence.
when is it normal to freeze before being raped?
when a policeman rapes you.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait........
You might say I'm mean but what are they gonna do..... tell their parents?
Wait..........
When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.