You jokes
Are you a plane? Because I wanna be in control of you for a few hours.
What do you call Jan[uary] 6th?
White people smearing shit on the walls of the capitol!
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
If you hit a child, that's child abuse.
If you hit a family member, that's abuse.
If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.
If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.
Hey Gwen, listen, I know you're on this app, fake or not. I love you either way. Please find this faker and finish her off for what she's done, real Gwen.
*You're a real best Gwen*
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despresso.
POV there’s a school shooting.
American: First time, European?
European: Yeah, you American?
American: No, not my first time.
RYAN MY BELOVED SON WHERE ARE YOU?
What do you call an elite bungee jumper? An emo kid.
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
What do you call California during a forest fire?
Completely normal.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
Hey, what do you call a beta simp?
You call me the beta simp.
Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"
Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"
Boy: "What do you mean?"
Friend and me: "We can show you."
Me: "I will tie the rope."
Friend: "I will push the chair."
You were tricked, loser. ;]
What do cannibals call an orphanage? All you can eat buffet.
Yeah man, you watch Pornhub, and you have premium too, but at least I don't need Premium to see your mom in bed.
what do you call a suicide bomber that loves water? a bath bomb.