You jokes
My mom said, "Why did I adopt you?"
I said, "Because the other three were mistakes."
Wife: Stop telling rape jokes, it's not funny. Husband: Who raped you this morning?
This joke is kinda offensive, but here you go.
What’s the longest joke of the year? Pride month.
You are what happens when women drink during pregnancy.
When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time... and walk past.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
I still remember the last thing Gaster said before he kicked the bucket, it was, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?" (Sans)
What do you call a group of emos?
The Suasied Squid.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I saw a monkey yesterday, and thought it was you.
what do you call 6 gay men in WWII?
Rainbow Six Siege.
What do you call a house that isn't a house?
Not a house.
Roses are red, colors are blue, if I was you, I'd look like you.
What do you call a flat emo?
Cutting board.
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"
What do you call an orphanage?
A parent-less shelter/homeless shelter.
How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?
– Sí...
See deez nuts!
What's the best thing about 9/11 jokes...
They make you collapse with laughter because the Twin Towers collapsed.
(insert funny joke about a dick here).
Did you laugh? Be honest.
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story...
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story about a farmer walking around the farm talking to the animals. She was trying to get the kids to interact, speak up, and to use their imaginations.
"Mister Farmer stopped at the cow, and the cow said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Susie, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Susie says "He said 'Good morning Mrs. Cow!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the pig next, and the pig said 'Good morning, Mister Farmer!'. Johnny, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Johnny says "He said 'Good morning Mr. Pig!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the chicken, and the Chicken said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Billy, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Billy says "The farmer said 'Holy shit, that chicken is fucking talking!'"