You jokes

A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.

When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"

God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."

You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.

You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????

Have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk?

'Cause their dad never came back with it.

Comebacks when someone say: Bully: "Your teeth is so yellow that when you start smiling you slow down the traffic." Say: "At least its brighter than your future."

I'm jealous of the people who never met you.

You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.

What do you call a hungry person?

African.

"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"

"I think you should ask yourself that."

Why shouldn't you make an orphan cry?

Because they won't have a parent to cry to.

Why should you put an orphanage by a cemetery?

So they can always see their parents.

How is toilet paper recycled?

Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.

Leave a like if you like sex and porn, and talk to me if you have any questions.

What do you call a disabled person that can walk?

Enabled.

What do you call an orphan's family photo?

A selfie.

After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"

The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.

"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.

The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your mom gay, And so are you.

So, I went up to an emo and I said, "Why did you steal my bar code from my chips?"

Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.

Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.

Judge: But why?

Accused: Because I’m an orphan.

What do you call a flying Aboriginal?

Boong 747.