What do you call a dog with no legs? ground beef
A small boy went up to a dog fountain? The more you. HAHA gorgeous ddollars of benjamin frnakus wghen hes wearing beakini bea at the beach hahaha.
You're so poor, when a robber robs your house, they feel bad for you and just leave.
Why don't you take emo skydiving?
They cut the rope.
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
Bully: Your mom hates you.
Orphan: I don't have parents ;)
Do you know Joe?
Joe mama, mama, a, a, mama, a, a, amam.
Blitz: "HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I’m gonna..."
Vortex: "You'll do what?"
Blitz: "Or I'll... uh... uh, I- I'll call HR!"
*Silence, then Verosika/me, Blitz, and Vortex bust into laughter. And then back to seriousness*
Verosika/me: "Anyway, meet my new Hellhound... Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well." *leaves and flips Blitz off* "Ta-ta fuck stain."
Who's an orphan?
You are.
me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck. I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes G
me: i have no bullet holes
emo kid: not yet you dont
me: ayo what the fuc*
Your hairline is so long that when I put it on email, it didn't send, which is ETHAN BRIDEWATER.
Did you know Princess Diana was on the radio the night she died?
To be honest, she was on the whole dashboard too.
What did the grandma say at the hospital when you pulled the tube?...................
Why can’t you play games with cats? Because they always ‘cheetah’. (This joke sucks ik 🥲)
Are you adopted? No. I mean who would want you.....
So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?
I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"
Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?
But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!
Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.
My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!
There are only women's rights causes because they leave you
Why do girls wear classic rock T-shirts? Because they are stupid little bitches who need to grow some fashion sense because wearing old shit doesn't make you unique.
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
