You jokes
The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.
"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"
Sally: "You..."
Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"
Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."
Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"
Johnny: "A pig."
Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "
Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"
Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up."
Nobody stands up.
After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone."
Little Johnny stands up.
"Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?"
"Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."
Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
Ha ha! Get rickrolled!
How many balls do you have on your body?
2. Your butt.
Would you rather date me or a lady?
I laid deez nuts in your mouth.
My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)
My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.
George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.
When I saw you, it instantly made me cry. LOL.
Q: Why can you be rude to an orphan?
A: Because who are they gonna tell their parents?
What can't you say to an emo?
Hang in there, buddy!
Why can't you say hi to a drug addict?
They'll say "yea."
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
Welcome to Joe's abortion clinic! No fetus can beat us! You make 'em, we take 'em!
What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking.
A child with cancer: "I want to be like you when I grow up." Doctor: "Oh, you're not going to grow up."
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
Confucius say: Never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid. You lose every time, and you only hurt yourself.
Unless he use Mongolian recurved bow... then you in trouble!
How have you been recently?
Oh, just playing some Rhydon.
What’s Rhydon?
Rhydon deez nutz!
I saw this kid on the street wearing a rag. I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."