You jokes
A child with cancer: "I want to be like you when I grow up." Doctor: "Oh, you're not going to grow up."
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
Confucius say: Never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid. You lose every time, and you only hurt yourself.
Unless he use Mongolian recurved bow... then you in trouble!
How have you been recently?
Oh, just playing some Rhydon.
What’s Rhydon?
Rhydon deez nutz!
I saw this kid on the street wearing a rag. I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨
Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.
Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
Did you hear about the dead Italian chef?
He pasta way!
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
I'd tell you a 9/11 joke, but it'd fly over your head and into the Twin Towers.
What do you call grass that grows in space?
Astro-turf.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground meat.
What do you call a dead baby?
Spawn killed.
Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:
Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.
Her: Really? What?
Me: Sweet-in-low.
Her: Why?
Me: Because you're artificial.
When a homeless kid goes to school and the teacher says, "You have homework tonight," he said, "Sorry, Teach, I don't got a home."
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
Why are you gay?
Because you are.
You're so weak, someone breathed on you and you flew away!
You were born so fat they needed two cranes to carry you.