You jokes
What do you call one orphan taking a photo?
A family photo.
Roast
You have such a big forehead it has a 6 pack on it!
What do you call a group of emos?
The Suicide Squad.
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.
What do you call a group of emos? The suicide squad.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Shrek is ugly, but not uglier than you.
Like if you have nuts.
You cheetah.
No, you lion.
Hey I have a joke for you.
My life hahah. I wanna die.
Depression sucks, and so do you.
Or is she asking her son, "Do you know Newton?"
The boy said, "No, I don't know."
She said to him, "If you had paid attention to your lessons, you would have known him!"
The boy said, "Ok, do you know Ikhlod?"
She said to him, "No, who is she?"
He said to her, "If you had paid attention to your husband, you would have known her."
The important thing is that the boy is currently a week with his uncles and a week with his turbans.
Jesus and Moses come back to Earth.
Moses says, "Let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before." So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before.
Jesus quips, "Close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last." So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him. Moses says, "Hey, it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before."
When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.
Dad, I hate you!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Owl.
Owl who?
Who? Are you meant to ask "who?"
Bully: You're a loser and fat.
Me: Shut up. The camera thought you were a house.
Your mom! Oh wait, you don't have one.
What do you call a shocked Chinese man?
"Hu le fuk!"
Mom: Can I tell you a joke?
Kid: Sure.
Mom: Knock knock.
Kid: Who's there?
Mom: Not yo.
Kid: Not yo who?
Mom: Not yo father.
Kid: Not yo husband either.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you?
None, you are both dead on the inside. Lol.