How do you call a Goth with feelings?
Emomotional.
You Jokes
Hey, if you've watched Twilight with Edward, Bella, and Jacob, then here's something for you.
Do you think Bella should have gotten with Jacob? I think she should have, ngl.
TJ's hairline is so far back, if you travel back in time, you still won't find it.
when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.
You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?
Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.
I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.
When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"
I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."
Q: What do you call 9/11? A: Enemy persion airstrike.
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
Me: Knock, knock.
Other person: Who’s there?
Me: Atch.
Other person: Atch who?
Me: Bless you!
She asked:
"How can you explain a yellow color to a blind man?"
Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝
“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.
So you mom call she side when Covin come home?
What’s the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?
Pikachu, I choose you!
What do you call a car on the side of the road, lit up and ablaze?
Paul Walker's death.
What do you call somebody in America that is smart?
An immigrant.
Holy fucking shit, Addison, watersharky, Gwen, and all of you other cringelords, I swear to God if I hear one more thing about "please be kind, no bullying on the internet," I will actually shoot my local school.
You may not know, since you are only 8 years old or whatever, but the world is not kind. It’s full of sick people out to beat others, and the only way to stay safe is to beat them. So even if you think you are spreading kindness, it’s just gonna make you a target. So just stfu and keep your "please be kind" messages to yourselves.
What do you call a person with no body or a nose?
Nobody knows.
Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?
Me: 'Cause God made you.
