You jokes
Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.
Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.
Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"
Trump: "Screw the women and children!"
Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who are you? Are you an owl or something?
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
What is it called if you give 100 disabled people guns?
Special Forces.
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.
What do you call a pedo with no legs? A creepy crawly.
You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.
I'm not saying you're ugly, but you're the reason God created miscarriages!
Kid: "Mom, I had a scary dream. Can I come sleep with you and dad?"
Mom: "Sure, sweetie, sleep in the middle."
Kid: "Dad, can you get the remote out of my back?"
Dad: "That isn't the remote."
*Weird background music*
Orphans are pretty tough. I mean, you never see them running home...
Hello! I hope you're having a good day or night! Mind commenting when you laughed the hardest and why? Like if you like this post!
What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?
Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)
No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
All of you guys in this orphanage are ABCDEFGHIJK.
What's that? said the orphans.
Attractive, brilliant, cute, darling, elegant, funny, gorgeous, and hot.
What's the IJK?
I'm just kidding! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.
1 hour before:
So let me get...
Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!
Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*
Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"
What do you call a deer with good eyes?
Good ideas.