You jokes

1) What was Techno's reaction when he died?

2) Where did all the orphans go?

PS: In case you don't get it, it's a pedophile joke, cuz he is one!

What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"

How do you beat Hellen Keller in musical chairs?

You move the chairs.

What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”

Q: What do you call a zombie with no mouth?

A: Useless.

Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?

A: I don't know.

Hi, how are you?

You're so fat, the only thing you could be for Halloween is the Kool-Aid Man.

What do you call a horse that does karate?

A horse.

People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?

Why do we call them dead bodies? Nobody says "alive bodies!" Like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG IT'S FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones, though." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on, husband, help me with the bodies." If it's a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!

If you look at this joke, you are going to meet a Catholic priest tomorrow.

What's the best thing you can do if you're feeling lonely?

Watch a scary movie. You won't feel lonely anymore.

Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.

During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: started to laugh and said, "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!

I told a blind kid, "See you later!"

"Fuck you, do something about it!"

What do you call emo kids that are depressed... suicide squad?

You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."

You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."