Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
You Jokes
How did Michael Jackson challenge the victim's parents? "Then why won't you slap my face, because I'm bad?"
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!
You're so bald, Bob Hope would refer to you as "grandpa."
You're so bald, the Hair Club for Men has elected you president.
You're so bald that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like roll-on deodorant!
My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!
When you see someone, you say, "Go suck bananas."
What do you call a female Michael Jackson? She she.
I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.
My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.
You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.
I'll shut up now.
What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?
... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.
Do you see the toilet?
Ms. Katie: I heard about a Vegan baby.
Mom: Here’s your Happy Meal.
Ms. Katie: That’s not vegan, did you trick me?
Kids: Yeah!
Ms. Katie: That’s it, little baby Jimmy, I’m giving you shaking baby syndrome!
Mom: Please don’t hurt my son.
*Ms. Katie shakes Jimmy*
Mom: I’m secretly a cop, and you are arrested.
What do you call a hamburger that can talk and walk?
Funny weird walkie hamburger and talkie cute hamburger. Lol.
What do you call an orphan you put into a volcano with a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
What dessert do you get on September 11th?
An ice cream flight!
Your forehead is so big you have to wear a hoodie for the Rock to see your ego because your forehead is so big.
What's a bonus of being an orphan?
You can't get homework.
Roses are red, the grass is greener, when I see you, I play with my wiener.
