You jokes
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?
She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
Me: Can I have your chair? 💺 You: Why? Me: For charity.
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?
A blast from the past!
Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.
Man's friend: Same.
Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.
Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.
Man: Oh great heavens!
Opposite day be like in doors.
Figure: Finally, I can see.
Eyes: Nnnnnoooo! I'm blind. Figure, I'm sorry I made fun of you all those other times. Please don't make fun of me.
Figure: Ok eye promise eye won't.
Eyes: ðŸ˜
What do you call a baby on the battlefield?
Free shield!
Lemme treat you like I treat my homework: slam you on my desk and do you all night.
I heard you were looking for a stud...
I already have the STD; all I need is you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be the dolphin, you can be the jellyfish.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got a bouquet in my pants for you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be a jaeger, will you be my kaiju?
Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?
Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!
What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.
Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."
You smell!
What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?
Nothing, you told her twice.
I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.
Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?
You should always wash your sex toys. That’s why priests invented baptism.