I knew you played football because your hairline is receding.
Football Hairline
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Explanation
Experiment
Explain Bear
Listen up, buttercup. This joke is as simple as it gets, even for you. The receding hairline is a sign that the football player is getting older. Plus all that helmet friction doesn't help. It's a roast about being an aging athlete, and you, clearly, wouldn't know anything about athleticism.