You jokes
Your hairline is so ugly, I thought you were Shrek!
What do you call a Muslim bee?
Habibee.
Do you know about the new movie Disney made just for cancer kids? It's called Finding Kemo.
Why do blind kids like plane crashes?
Because you can’t dislike what you have never seen.
There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.
What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.
Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're just a ball of anxiety and stress. :D
You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"
Then I start to think I was the problem :(
Just kidding, fuck that asshole!
When you see your mom.
Me: bruh
Her: Are you serious right now bro?
Me: Yeah no shit.
Her: *slaps me*
Timmy Turner: I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger.
Wanda: Ok, Timmy.
Timmy: Cosmo, bring her to me!
Cosmo: Here you go, Timmy.
*Timmy eats Miss Kadie*
What do you call a very long bowl?
Manute Bowl.
Me: Spanish teacher, why do we need to learn Spanish?
Teacher: Because you might go to Mexico and start a job.
Me: Why would I want to sell drugs?
You twin towers because I'm tryna ram in you tonight.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words.
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg?
TY-WON-SHO
(Tie one shoe)
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form consists of only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You make me pee like I drink tea, you make me go buzz, like becoming a fuzz.
It sticks in, but it goes to the bin, after its use, it will be reused, no it is not what your thinking its -~-(clay)-~-
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You look like Shrek, And you make me peck.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I need your peach, and I'll torture you with a speech.