You jokes
Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.
Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.
Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?
You know what’s traumatizing?
Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.
Help!
What’s it called when you give an emo some rope as a present?
Murder.
Are you the Twin Towers? Because I'd smash.
"I’m coming for you two!"
Yo mama so stupid, she ate the Apple phone you gave her.
I'm actually against abortion.
Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
Are you the voices I've been hearing?
Because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)
What do you call a blind German shepherd?
A Nazi.
What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?
Pigs in a blanket.
What do you do when your cat's not home?
Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, then they got plane.
Did you know the Titanic sank in water?
Titanic 1, Africa 0.
What do you call a useless piece of **** on a cock?
A: A man!
Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?
A: The Blackhole.
What do you call a swimmer from Iraq?
A bath bomb.
What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?
Unemployed.
In Boston we say,
"Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, unzipped his fly and said ‘Hey Jill, you wanna?’ Jill said yes, unzipped her dress, and then they had a ‘daughta’" 🤣