You jokes
Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium?
Because you are looking a little bit GaY.
Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?
Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Seine.
You should watch Ryan ToysReview because he's not mean; he's a very nice boy.
"What did one wall say to the other?"
"I'll meet you at the corner!"
If you don’t like mowing your lawn, just get emo grass! It cuts itself!
What do you call the fighters with an extra chromosome?
Downy unstopables.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
What do you call a baby Mexican? A paragraph because they aren’t a full essay.
"How would you describe yourself in three words?"
"Lazy!"
Thank you guys for 6 whole followers! I'm so happy!
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your dad.
But my dad's dead.
I know, just reminding you!
At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.
Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.
A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
God, people are so sensitive these days. You can't even say, "Paint the wall black," you have to say, "Jamal, could you paint the wall?"
Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?