You jokes
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?
Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.
You know the difference between me and a zebra? Me neither.
How do you get Wacko Jacko to screw a lightbulb?
Tell Jacko that the bulb is a 6-year-old boy.
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
Are you a border? 'Cause I can't get over you.
Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?
The adult person I asked: Cereal?
Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?
The person: Yes.
Me: WHAT?!!!??!!
What do you call an orphan with no relatives?
An orphan with no relatives.
You're so fat, when you wear a yellow raincoat, people call out, "TAXI!"
Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.
I said, "a smile."
They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.
My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.
Going to school is mandatory in this country.
Can you guess my plan?
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
Yo hairline so long, it makes you look like Mr. Clean.
Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?
Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?
What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?
It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without kids.
What do you call a cute door?
What do you call an autistic kid coming to school with a gun?
Special Forces incoming!
Hey, do you like nuts? Try our new product, deez nuts! *slam dunk* It's a bag filled with all of your favorite nuts! We called it deez nuts! *slam dunk* We got cashues peanuts wallnuts!
And it's called deez nuts! *slam dunk* Try out deez nuts *slam dunk* now! It's a bag, filled with your favorite nuts! Deez nuts! *slam dunk*
Q: Where do you bury the people killed in 9/11?
A: It's already done for you.
Yo hairline so put back that you could put 10 big size ramen noodles there.