You jokes
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Did you know about the guy who invented knock knock jokes?
He won the no-Bell prize.
What's the same with shoes and slaves?
When they get loose, you tie them up.
How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"
Wow, you did 10 chin-ups? Was it 1 for each chin?
A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"
How are you and an orphan similar?
Both of your fathers are invisible.
Do you play COC?
Because itβs a pretty good game.
You realize we are tolerating you, right?
Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?
Because you can't see in the dark.
My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
You hear that? Thatβs the sound of me not caring.
What do you call a fat motivational speaker?
Four chin teller.
What do you call a terrorist in a bathtub?
Bathbomb.
How many people fit in a tree?
I don't know, you tell me.
What do you call an Asian, a blind man, and a very bad driver?
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
Your forehead is so big, it gets home 50 min before you do.