You jokes
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"
I have something on my lip and I think I’m taller than you.
"Who am I?"
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street, and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, "Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?"
To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?"
What do you call a joke without a punchline?
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.
Q: Why can't you run through a campground?
A: You can only ran, because it's past tents!
"Knock knock?"
"Mustache."
"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"
Did you hear about the tomato and the lettuce race?
Well, the lettuce was ahead, and the tomato was trying to ketchup!
You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.
But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
What do you call it when a midget waves at you?
A microwave.
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
I gotta song for Hawaii, baby, you light up my world like nobody else.
Come on guys, it's not nice to make fun of autism. I mean really, the Riot devs try their best, but just because they have autism does not mean you can make fun of them. Make fun of them for something else, like their Down syndrome.
What do you call a Mexican midget?
A paragraph, because he's not a full essay.
I was with my blind friend, and he's telling me, "Yeah, I can read braille." So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read, "Screw you, asshole."
I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder