What do you call Stephen Hawking's wife? Siri.
How do you name a Chinese person?
You drop a metal spoon on a tile floor.
What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
How do you make a builder cry?
Kill his family.
And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
What do you call two Mexicans having sex? 50 Shades of Brown.
When someone has an imaginary friend, you call them weird and crazy.
But when a group of people have an imaginary friend, you call it religion. :)
How many gay guys can you fit on a bar stool? Four, just flip it over.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? - Depends on how big they are and how hard you throw them.
What do you do with a frozen vegetable?
You wait for it to thaw.
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
What’s the difference between bowling balls and babies?
You can unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork
What do you call an Asian prostitute?
Suck Mi Dong.
What are you going to have for a face when the baboon wants its butt back?
What happens when you say, "Hey Siri?"
Stephen Hawking answers.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
To the people who have seen "Meet The Fockers" at the movies and they hated it, Fock You, Motherfockers!
What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.
What do you call a masturbating cow
Beef stroking off
What do you call snowmen having sex?
A snowjob.
