An infinite amount of mathematicians walked into a bar. The first ordered a pint, the second ordered a half pint, the third ordered a fourth-pint, etc. The Bartender eventually walked up and gave them two pints and said: "You mathematicians don't know your limits."
What do you call the Spanish translation of the 9th Star Wars movie?
Rogue Juan.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Read the title.
The black nurse tells me she has been a vegan for 29 years. The father sitting next to me asks, "So you don't miss fried chicken?"
You guys asked for a joke? Well, you're in luck, because you already are one!
Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?
He won a no-bell prize.
People are like trees...
They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers?
The redneck virgin.
There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel. - Crackling of fire. - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you. - Cats purring.
American: How do you use a PC?
Amish: We use a potato.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore!
Let me tell you a pun. Never mind, it's tearable.
What do you call a fish with two knees?
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
What do you call an otter video game that is about robbing?-
Grand Theft Otter!
How do you make a baby cry?
You run over it with a lawn mower.
How do you make a baby cry?
You punch it in the face.
What do you call a fat chink?
Saturn.
Would you like to try African food?
They would too.
What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend before leaving to go on vacation?
"Do you need help packing your shit?"