You jokes

How are women like swimming pools?

They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.

Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair?

It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit.

Almost all of you suck. If you're following me, hah, this isn't a joke, but it gave my profile a 1 thingy heheh. KYS, Wade =D

How do you piss off a color blind person?

Give them a Rubik's cube.

What do you call an emo girl with a flat chest?

A cutting board.

Me walking in to the office:

Principal: Tell me what you did?

Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...

Are you Hiroshima? Because I want to drop my bomb inside you.

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  • My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"

    Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.

    Her: I am scared!

    Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.