You jokes
Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?"
"Sofishticated."
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Lay on the bed, So I can fuck you.
Are you a sports car? Because you give my heart quite a rush!
You know why you remind me of a calculator? Because 1+1 equals the two of us.
Q: What do you call a Chinese Billionaire?
A: Cha-ching!
What do you call intelligent people in America?
Tourists.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at the hospital?
Reload and keep shooting.
Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!
Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!
Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.
Two boys are wandering in the woods, playing games.
Suddenly, they come across a naked lady, and one of the boys starts running. The other chases after him and asks: "Why did you start running?"
The boy replies with: "My mom said if I ever see a naked lady, then I would turn to stone. And I can already feel a part of me turning hard."
I dare you to smile like a donut. Did you do it?
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?
Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
Your parents are so proud of you. They LOVE you! <3
You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!
You're so wonderful that Wonderland booked tickets to meet you!
You're so cool that celebrities take pictures of you.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."