You jokes
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels! We'll see him soon.
What do you call someone with a small dick... whoever is reading this 😉
A man goes for his annual checkup. Afterward, he's sitting in the doctor's office, and the doctor comes in with the results of his tests. The doctor says, "I have some bad news; you have cancer and Alzheimer's." The man replies, "Well, at least I don't have cancer."
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
Robin: "The car's not working."
Batman: "Did you check the battery?"
Robin: "What's a tery?"
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?
A cliffhanger.
Muslims don't need weed, they've got the Koran.
You burn that sh*t and you're gonna get stoned.
Adopted kid: I made a big mistake!
Dad: You are one.
I would tell you a chemistry pun, but I won't get a reaction.
What does your mom and a slinky have in common?
They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.
A bicurious man goes to a gay bar.
A gay man offers him a drink.
The bi man explains he doesn't know if he's gay or not.
"That's fine," he says, "let's just have a drink."
The gay man asks him for a dance, and he explains again he isn't sure if he's gay or not.
Eventually, the gay man invites him to go home with him to hang out as friends.
They get to his house, and the gay man says, "Do you fancy having sex?"
He isn't sure, so the gay man explains, "I'll push in slow, and at any point you want to stop, make animal sounds, and if you like it, start singing."
So they get to it, and the gay man pushes in slowly, the bi man bursts out "MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOOVVVEE CCLOSSEEERRRR"
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Any last requests?" "Yes," replied the murderer, "Will you please hold my hand?"
What's worse than waking up with a dead baby next to you?
Realizing you were so drunk that you made love to it the night before...
Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?
They both have cum in it.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? "HOT WHEELS"
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? Don't worry, he hasn't neither.
Do you want to know why they call it an orphanage? Because they couldn't call it orphans home.
Did you hear about the person who got hit in the head with a soda can?
Good thing it was a "soft" drink!
"Ho, ho, ho, what do you want for Christmas, little boy? Longer than two months to live."