You jokes
Guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop.
Person:
Guy: You walk into a bar.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You meet a girl.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You and the girl go to a hotel.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You guys go on a bed.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: She whispers into your ear...
Person: I'm a man!
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.
what do you call a drunken sailer?
arrested.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
You want to hear a 9/11 joke?
I bet they did too!
A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?
What do you call a homeless orphan?
Homo-less.
When was the only time you could see people base jump without a parachute?
2001/9/11.
Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.
My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^
Pontypool is rough.
"Wanna hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"You SURE will be glad when this dad joke's over."
"That was pretty DAD!"
Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar?
I hear they got six months each.
If you steal a lottery ticket, is it considered Grand Theft Lotto?
Sir, I mustache you a question...
Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.
I was talking to my friends and they said a random topic about cats, and I'm like, "Water you talking about?" =3
What do you call a baby with red curry fried hair?
A baby using a potato peeler and a comb.
what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?
steamed vegetables.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
You can't lose Kahoot if you "kashoot" the class first.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
What do you call a dabbing cow?
Udder savagery.