Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin?
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial Intelligence.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
Are you an egg, because you crack me up?
Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"
Fuck you people who made those jokes! (but some were funny but the starving one is messed up!)
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
How do you poop?
The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.
Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?
Woman: No, really?
Man: Well, the one I fucked did...
How do you make Holy Water?- Get regular water and boil the devil out of it.
Someone asked me, "How would you like your steak cooked?"
I said, "On a stove!"
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
Did you hear the pickle joke?
It's actually a really big dill.
A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."
Are you beef?
Because you're Carlos-Asada.
Did you hear about the blonde that worked at the Dollar Store?
She called for a price check.
