DO Not Touch - the worst thing you can read in Braille.
What did the teacher say to the student?
Orange you glad to see me?
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?
So, a guy walks into a gas station and walks to the person working and says, "Can I have a Kit Kat Chunky?" So she gets him one, and then he says, "No, I want a normal Kit Kat, you fat bitch!"
What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?
Mashed potatoes.
Did you hear about the band Manhole? I hear they're a metal cover.
Only Fortnite players will get it.
Where do you get salt water? Salty Springs.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Disabled.
Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.
How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
What is green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A pool table.
What do you call a hospital that's flooded with vegetable soup?
So I got asked why I suddenly started wearing a beret, and I said, "Well, you never know when you need to pick a lock."
Roses are red, grass is greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.
so my best friend’s boyfriend broke up with her and she started to cry.So I’d told her a ‘single’ joke then she said," Go and f...ing die you insensitive bitch!". I later said," ugh, fine as your BFF I will break his body for you-happy now?". She said," sniff yes".
So, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.
So I told her a "single" joke, then she said, "Go and fucking die, you insensitive bitch!"
I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF, I will break his body for you—happy now?"
She said, "*sniff* yes."
- Hey, are you single?
- No, I'm album.
What do you call a router in a thong?
CISCO....(that thong thong thong thong!)
There once was a brother and a sister. So, one night, it's storming really bad and the sister goes into the brother's room and asks, "Can I stay with you tonight because I'm scared?" The brother replies with, "Yeah, sure, but just don't tell Mom." So the girl climbs into the bed and looks under the sheets to see the boy's penis and asks, "What's that?" And the boy replies with, "That's my pet snake." And the girl asks, "Can I pet it?" And the boy says, "Sure, just don't tell Mom." And the boy falls asleep and wakes up in a hospital and asks, "What happened?" And the girl said, "I pet the snake but it spit on me so I bit its head off."
Three drunk men get in a taxi. The driver knew they were drunk, so he started the car and turned it off. The first man gave him the money. The second man thanked him, but the third man slapped the driver. The driver, surprised that he noticed, asked why, and the third man replied with, "Why did you drive so fast?"
