Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late?
His wife gave him the cold shoulder.
You Jokes
What do you call someone who farts in public? A private tutor.
That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of a car and you realize there's somebody inside.
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
You look tall for being a yellow dwarf. You are 432,450 miles tall!
You look tall for being 432,450 miles tall!
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it's too long." Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you'll never get it."
A doctor is at a bar one night and notices a young lady at the counter. He approaches her and says, "Hello there miss, pardon my intrusion, but I was curious to know, if someone were to pay you a million dollars to sleep with them, would you?"
The young lady smiles and says, "That's a lot of money, of course, I would."
The doctor smiles and says, "That's interesting, but what if someone were to pay you 5 dollars to sleep with them, would you?"
The young lady says, "What, are you joking? That's no money at all. Of course, I wouldn't. What do you think I am?"
The Doctor smiles again and says, "We already established what you are, now we're trying to establish a price."
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Do you have any problems with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says, "No." So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in the zoo, But don't you worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The third one's for you.
Two cannibals were eating a clown when one looked at the other and asked, "Does this taste funny to you?"
I don’t have a joke but a poem about a sex/dark joke.
Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, I can make you scream!
Why tie when you can knot?
Three men walk into a bar. You would think the 3rd one would have ducked! 😅
Me: I must have a mirror in my jeans, 'cause I see you in my pants.
What do you call an annoying emo kid? A nuisance.
Me: (Tim) What's wrong?
Him: Wha...
Me: Are you inTIMidated?
"Have you ever heard of the snail that never gives charity?"
"Yeah, he is so shellfish!"
If you're cleaning a vacuum cleaner, does that make you the vacuum cleaner?