You jokes

Women should be seen and not heard.

But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?

Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?

I guess he was a little deranged.

Comic: God, you're a fuckin' virgin, aren't you?!

Gerald: No! I've been 'round the block loads of times; women practically drool over me.

Comic: Yeah, and the Archbishop of Banterbury, mate. A name like Gerald, and with added 'four eyes' like them shit pair of glasses from FOUR EYED SPECCY INSTITUTION, mate, the only woman your dick has been in was when you were inside your mom's womb.

I said, "Are you half left or half right?"

"Neither! In-between."

"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"

Political correctness has gone too far! You have to say "cognitive decline" rather than "Alzheimer's ridden shitbag"!

How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?

It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.

If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.

They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.

You really seem like you don't want to be laughing at that rape joke, but somewhat ironically, I'm forcing you.

Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?

A. A mixed vegetable.

Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?

A. A loaded potato.