What's the rarest gun you can find in Africa? A water gun.
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.
Why is there no medication in Africa? Because doctors advised you don't take it on an empty stomach.
How do you make a dishwasher work again? Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
When Pope Pius IX died, he went to Heaven, knocked at the door, and St. Peter opened it: "Who are you? What do you want?”
"I am Pope Pius. I want to come to Heaven.”
“Where do you come from?"
"Rome."
“What do you mean? Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"No, Rome, Italy, of course."
“I'm very sorry, but I do not know you!”
To make sure not to erroneously deny access to an authorized person, Saint Peter takes the telephone, calls up God, and asks: "Hello, Boss, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"
"What do you mean: Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"No, Rome, Italy, of course."
"No, sorry, I don’t know him.”
Saint Peter makes another telephone call and rings up Jesus: "Hello, Junior, here’s a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome, do you know him?"
"Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"Rome, Italy."
"No, sorry, never heard of him.”
Saint Peter still does not give up and finally calls up the Holy Ghost and asks: "Hello, Smoky, here is a guy who says he is the Pope of Rome. Do you know him?"
"What does he mean, Rome, Massachusetts, or Rome, New York?"
"He says Rome, Italy."
"No, sorry, I’m afraid I do not know this guy." But then, after a very short while, he continues: "Wait, wait, tell me, is that the guy who invented the damn story about Mary and me?"
What do you call a group of rappers stuck in TRAFFIC?
A cypher-circle
I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.
What do you call a n apartment full of black people A CON-dominium
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat? VEGETABLE OIL!
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
NO, YOU ATE MY COCK!!!
Slavery is like Pokémon, you gotta catch them all.
With the sentence "Die in Hölle," you can buy shoes in Germany.
You know I wish life shorter? I want it over
HOW YOU GUYS NOT EVEN KNOW WHO DID IT HAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAH
What’s the difference between chocolate and people?
You can’t buy people nowadays.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
What do you call an Eskimo stripper?
A frosty-tute.
What do you call a prostitute in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
