You jokes

Nah, did your barber catch a seizure while lining you up?

Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.

How do you flatten curves?

With an abortion.

I'd say you were the spawn of Satan, but that would be an insult to Satan.

What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.

Did you hear about the streaker in church? He was caught by the organ.

There's a new Viagra and prune juice diet that's out.

Unfortunately, you can't tell if you're coming or going.

What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?

Strong to the finish.

I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.

Two ropes meet. They ask each other, "Why are you wearing a hijab?" The other replies, "I want to go into the water now."

Did you hear about the lesbian midget? She probably came out of the cabinet.

What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.

Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.

What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?

She had small tits.

What's the best response to a girl saying, 'What's up?'

'If I tell you, will you sit on it?'

Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"

How do you trick a camel jockey into drinking a bottle of watermelon schnapps?

Pour watermelon seeds into a bottle of watermelon schnapps.

How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?

They only have a back door.

POV: You keep having auditory hallucinations and fully believe your house is haunted because you never went and got diagnosed for schizophrenia.

You're like a stormy cloud, because once you go away, it's a nice day.