You jokes
What happens after you eat at a combination Chinese-German restaurant?
An hour later, you're hungry—for power!
Mom found a mirror in the garden and said, "I'll show you a real picture!"
My sister looks like Santa Claus.
"You are so pretty?"
"No, too many people!"
Did you know a full moon is perfect for a werewolf to come out?
I’m gay.
What do you call a woman who sleeps with multiple men?
A whore.
Young man: "Very good money, and how about the name of the stupid young man again?"
Friend: "Dagobert Duck."
Young man: "Ah, I remember. He was the American useless."
Friend: "Ah, you mean Donald Trump?"
Young man: "Yes, just like that! I know exactly how the guy managed to become president. Hahaha!!!"
Did you know that soccer fields aren't made of 4 million crayons? They are actually made from grass. :)
What do you call a person with Down syndrome in the military?
Special Forces.
Did you hear about the tourist that came to New York? Good, because they were a terrorist... When they were asked why they were traveling, they just mispronounced it.
What do you call a lesbian pirate?
Red Beard.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a prostitute?
The look they give you while you’re nailing them.
Three nuns die in a car crash, but they all make it to heaven. They're standing at the pearly gates, and Saint Peter says to them, "Don't worry, you're going to get in, but first I need you to answer these questions."
He asks the first nun, "What was the name of the first woman?" The nun says, "Eve." Saint Peter says, "Go on in."
Then he asks the second nun, "Where did Adam and Eve live?" The second one says, "The Garden of Eden." Saint Peter says, "You can go through."
Finally, he gets to the third nun and says, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" The nun stands there a little confused and says, "Boy, that's a hard one." Saint Peter, shocked, goes, "That's correct! Go on in."
A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."
He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
She says, "Yes, I am."
He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."
Fritz Cheng was asked to write three articles on the subject. He went to his grandmother and advised her: "Question: Kill people! I am sorry, Mr. Fritz, I am looking for his brother—what do you suggest?"
Brother: "I'm Superman. I am Superman!"
Fritz remembers entering the room. That's Alfredo's question in front of the TV: "Do you have any advice?"
Fritz tells a story from his school days. "Remember our words?" said Professor Fleck. "An artist? Is that true? Frison, who are you?"
"I am Superman. I'm Superman," he said. "I hope to meet the president."
It's okay if you miss while saying "Kobe" because he didn't make it either.
Did you hear about the new sex doll they've invented for Muslims?
It blows itself up!!
What happens if you look in the mirror and say fentanyl 3 times? You'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors?
Surrounded by loved ones.
If you could add one zero to any number for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?
Autists either believe everything you tell them or are nonstop skeptics. There is no in-between.