Year jokes

What do you call a 17-year-old orphan?

Homeless.

I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.

Last year, I got kicked out of the Hospital for telling COVID patients to stay positive!

What do 7 year old girls want?

To be ate!

DARK ALERT********

A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.

DARK ALERT********

This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.

Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!

You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?

Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?

A: He was in a mid-life crisis.

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.

My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.

Ever seen twins?

If you said yes, was it before or after 2001?

Can we go back to 2001?

I bet it was more fun back then.

Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?

Friend: What?

Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.

Jo Mama is so fat, I left her printing last year, and she is still printing!

Why could not the 11 year old watch the pirate movie?

because it was rated RRRRGGGG.

I am guessing you don't understand :(

What is a paedo's favourite time of year?

Halloween because they get free delivery.

Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.

I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.

I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.